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“No, you don’t look like you’ve gained any weight”, “You we’re right, I was wrong”; are just two examples of the lies we sometimes tell our other half to avoid conflict.

We sometimes call them little white lies to give them a less tainted image and as some form of justification.

So, if we accept this justification and let it be, what happens when these lies become greater and more frequent?

Then there’s the kind of people who lie just because they can, we call them pathological but I tend to think they just lead boring lives and need excitement. Also, what happens when you run across a person who can’t distinguish the rank of their lies? They might tell you a complete fabrication and think that it’s nothing but a little white lie.

Let’s use Connie as an example. Connie has a boyfriend that we’ll call Jake, a smart, successful, and handsome man. For the first couple weeks of their commitment everything was going great, but the third week (the truth telling week) she just happened to see a cheeseburger wrapper in his car. Jake is a vegetarian; therefore this was a cause for concern.

So while he went into the store she found the bag and looked at the date on the receipt – it was dated that day. So when he got back in the car she asked him if he had hung out with any of his friends earlier. His reply was “no but we’re all supposed to go shoot ball tomorrow”. Now Connie is having fears of infidelity. She just knows that there was some woman in his car, sitting where she is sitting, eating a cheeseburger. This causes her to keep a close eye on Jake’s every move.

The next day Connie drives by the park where Jake and company play basketball. They weren’t there, so naturally she flipped out. Not knowing where Jake was made her even more upset. She drove to his house to find that he wasn’t home. Her mind was wondering; who could he be with, where could he be, when did he go, what was he doing? All of this was tearing her apart.

So, she called his cell phone – he didn’t answer. She just went home and waited. Jake called her that night and asked if she wanted to go out. She decided to go with him so she could confront him about everything. When he came to pick her up she couldn’t hold off her questions, she wanted answers.

“Did you go play ball today?”

“Yeah”

“Where’d you play?”

“We went to the indoor gym because it was cold outside. Why, what’s up?”

No longer able to hold it in she just said it, “Jake I saw that cheeseburger wrapper in your car”.

Jake scratched his head and said “Okay, I’ve been lying to you.”

This made Connie’s heart fall down to her knees. She didn’t know if she wanted to slap him, breakdown and cry, or go grab his things out of her room and set them on fire.

Jake continued “I’m not a vegetarian, I just said that because I knew that you were and I wanted you to like me. When I met you I liked you so much that I wanted you to like me back. I was just trying to be appealing to you. It was just a little white lie to get to know you better.”

This is just an example of how lying can definitely have a chain reaction. Jake has no idea what he put Connie through with his little white lie. Most of the time we really don’t know the consequences of our actions but you can always bet that a lie (no matter how little or how white) will not have the best results. Then you really might end up being a “liar, liar, pants on fire” like Jake almost became.

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