Last Updated on November 18, 2009 by Paulette Brown-Hinds

Richard O. Jones

From the time a female is an adolescent until she’s a senior, there’s an ingrained impulse towards chastity even beyond several affairs and nuptial escapades. Males, on the other hand, are given the proverbial “Boys-will-be-Boys” pass, which might explain why more men are less emotionally connected to each intimate encounter. When I was a boy, during the 50s and 60s, I used to hear a popular nursery rhyme that perhaps helped set the respective genders on their moral course for life. The poem was called, “What are Little Boys Made of?” The lyrics were: What are little boys made of?” Snips and snails and puppy-dog tails, that’s what little boys are made of. What are little girls made of?  Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of.”

The cute little poem perpetuated a double standard that made little girls and boys think of boys as dogs or doggish and little as angelic, which likely sent many unwed pregnant girls into the hands of abortionists lest she is demeaned or ostracized.  The sugar and spice and everything nice mindset lured females to quench and deny their sensuality most often while dating but sometimes even after marriage. Even in the Bible, referring to John 8:7, women apparently were held to a double standard, at least in the eyes of the scribes and Pharisees, because the men only brought the women caught in adultery before Jesus and quoted the law of stoning an adulterer. I still remember how embarrassing and morally damaging it was for girls if the word got out that they were not virgins. The mere rumor of a couple casual sexual encounters would label a girl a slut. However, the same rumors about a boy labeled him a playboy. After all, society rationalized, he’s made of snips and snails and puppy-dog tails.

The double standard is a lifetime albatross around the neck of women.  I’ve met and/or dated several senior women proud to proclaim their abstinence. Many still harbor their little girls’ mindset and, though often at the price of a sliver of emotional health, believe that they must abstain, or at least become hard-to-get, to remain socially acceptable.

Frankly, to me, this woman can’t handle a normal mature relationship without imposing superficial obstacles such as indefinitely postponing intimacy solely on moral grounds.  Very often women lean on their Christian values and biblical sex laws for confirmation. But more likely, some man or men had done her wrong; therefore, she’s now ultra sensitive and insecure about relationships.  Such a perspective is like me saying, “I’ve been walking for five years because my last car broke down… it hurt me so that I don’t trust cars.”

Having Christian values are encouraged, it’s a great way to live: however, there’s a biblical doctrine that no one is perfect and we all fall short to the glory of God; therefore, women should enjoy a healthy level of discretionary intimacy and give up on a couple other popular sins such as pride, envy, gluttony, anger, greed, sloth, and gossiping?

However, I find the nursery rhyme to be true, girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice but the problem is that sugar and spice is useless without a dessert to enrich.